I think it has actually been close to 6 months since my last blog post but a lot has happened and things are slowly getting back to “normal” (whatever that is – remembering that this is a blog about the lighter side of autism). Earlier this year I lost my mom, Alex’s grandmother, to cancer. It was and has been very difficult. Alex dealt with things remarkably well and reminded me several times to “just let it out”, “it’s normal to be sad and to cry and get it all out it”. I am sure those expressions by him were somewhat rote learned but they were actually very helpful and he is right it is good to get it all out.

The last few days my mom was in the hospital Alex did something that made me realize that people with autism can and do have deep affection. When he came into the room my mom was sleeping and he quietly held her hand and started singing the “I’ll love you forever” song from the Robert Munsch book. For anyone who has read that book you will know that it created a remarkable moment. Not a dry eye to be found. At the funeral he also spent a long time just kneeling by my mom and telling her that he had heard “heaven is a really nice place and everything is free so you won’t have to carry your purse around”. He also always finds a way to make us smile.

Alex of course had his “moments” at the funeral visitations. He asked one friend if he was related to Alfred Hitchcock. Of course my good friend, being a good sport, just smiled and said “not that I know of Alex”. He also told another good friend, whom he had not seen in a while, “you sure have gained a lot of weight. I am not sure she was impressed. And while I was saying goodbye to some friends, he casually came up and asked “Mom, is now a good time to talk about my inheritance?” Of course they all know Alex and one of them simply said “No, Alex it is not a good time”.

Early in the new year Alex also got laid off from his job since the store was closing. That was really tough because it was his first part time job and he really enjoyed it. He has been working hard to try to find another job but it is one of the most difficult things for him as his behaviour can become challenging even with employers who are willing to accommodate him for a position. He recently had a great interview set up and we must have practiced the questions for days. He even agreed to get a haircut and beard trim the day before. I asked him how the interview went and he said “fantastic, I told them everything they wanted to hear”. It turned out he did not get the job and when the agency followed up the employer said it was very strange as Alex had checked off he could work part time but when asked what days he could work he said at the interview “well actually, I don’t really want to work all that much, maybe just Wednesday morning since my schedule is pretty full most days and I have a lot of stuff I have to do, working too much would not be ‘normal’ for me, thanks for asking though”.

Recently, he went to another interview and this time I went with him, if only for moral support and to remind him what part-time means. I sat within ear shot and almost burst out laughing when I heard the interviewer ask, “So Alex, have you ever seen anyone at work put themselves in a dangerous position or done something against the rules – what did you do?” “Well yes, “said Alex, “at my last job this one girl smoked cigarettes on her break. I told her several times that is was extremely dangerous as she could be prone to cancer and her teeth would turn yellow and fall out and it was highly unlikely she would ever get married because her clothes would smell.” All I could see was the interviewer’s shoulders shrugging up and down in what must have been greatly suppressed laughter. The job search continues.

In the last two weeks, we have welcomed a new puppy to the house. Interestingly, instead of joy, it has caused significant stress for Alex. Much of the stress comes from a disruption to his routine. His otherwise ‘normal’ daily routine now has added responsibility of feeding and taking the dog out. We worked out a schedule which Alex could put in his phone with reminder alerts but like clockwork I would get a call before and after the “feed dog and put her out to go pee” alert. “Mom, it is 2:30 and it says to put the dog out. Just letting you know that is what I am now doing”. At 2:35 pm I would get a second call, “Hey Mom it’s me, Alex, I have let the dog out and she went pee and I gave her a treat. When you get home I also want to show you the dog boarding kennels I found. I think we need to send her away to boarding school and she can come back when she is older and fully trained. Bye.” Of course Alex had done some extensive research finding a number of local kennels and training schools with dates and costs. He has now asked me at least 12 times when will things will be back to ‘normal’. I have replied that I don’t know and maybe they never will be and in fact never were.

Alex has replied “You are right Mom, normal is overrated.”