April 2nd of every year is now World Autism Awareness Day. I don’t think when Alex was first diagnosed this day existed (that was over 20 years ago). Now every year it seems to get more and more recognition and media attention. That is a really good thing.
The more people know, the more they understand. Sometimes autism awareness is spread through a simple reply such as “sorry my son does not mean to be disrespectful but he is autistic and he does not have the same ‘filter’ we have when it comes to social situations. He states what he is thinking.” I cannot tell you how many times I have said that to people when Alex has loudly stated his observations. In some ways it gives me an opportunity to leap into my Autism 101 speech and people generally say, “Oh yes I have a friend whose cousin has autism” or “Oh, kind of like the kid on Parenthood?”
“Please someone put that baby in a box” is one of the harsher statements that Alex has come out with in a crowded restaurant when a baby was crying. He has sensory issues with certain sounds. I left out the Autism 101 speech in that scenario as those parents had enough stress with everyone staring. A few years earlier, Alex and I were at a crowded community centre and there was a rather big guy standing in front of a vending machine jiggling change in his pocket. Alex yelled “Mom, tell that big fat guy to stop that noise in his pocket!”
“Nice costume. How did you get wrinkles that deep in your mask?” is another classic stated to an older lady who lived on our street at Halloween, as we were trick-or-treating. She was a gem though as she just laughed and smiled and waved him off. “Those look like French baguettes!” was another interesting observation yelled out very loudly, which actually had us all laughing, as Alex pointed to a woman who was bending down to collect shells at the beach in Mexico (remembering that several woman choose not to wear tops on the beach there). Thankfully she just looked up and grinned and we all agreed she did not speak English.
Often times Alex’s literal observations are his way of clarifying what he believes is fact but something we would never do as it may “offend” someone. Alex once said to a young waiter who was Asian, and had his name displayed on his nametag, “Alfred is not a Chinese name. Why is that your name? There was an Alfred on Batman. Did your parents like Batman?” I was horrified at first and getting ready with my standard statement but the waiter just smiled and replied, “No I don’t think they did but actually I never asked them, maybe I should”.
There are countless times Alex has asked people “why?” or “what is that?” or made statements that are based on his association with visual images and stereotypes (if you haven’t already read the blog post about the bikers in the beer store please do). He once asked an older woman who was wearing a Germany t-shirt, “Did you meet Hitler during the war?” Unfortunately, many of these situations are not funny and definitely not the “lighter side of autism”. We also cannot always be there to respond or give the Autism 101 speech. As an adult now, Alex needs to work harder than ever on his social skills and behaviour and hope that he can self advocate if he gets himself into a difficult situation based on something he has said or done.
The more we spread awareness, the more we spread understanding and the better things can be for the Alexes out there.