Alex has had many fixations throughout the years. He has memorized some movies almost in their entirety. It is a memory skill that is quite remarkable and shared by many others I have met with autism.
When Alex was about 5 years old, he became fixated with How the Grinch Stole Christmas. First it was the Dr. Seuss book, which he would want his Dad or I to read every night. Of course you could not skip a page or even a word without him knowing and correcting you by adding in the word or even the page you missed. Having memorized the book, he would watch the short film (I think VHS tapes still existed back then) and he would replay certain scenes over and over again until the tape literally wore out in those parts and we had to buy a new one. Today he can still recite most of the book and the film line by line. He has the voice of Boris Karloff down to every tone.
In the late summer of 1998, I will always remember an event that occurred that was both frightening and humourous. On the scary side there is no worse feeling than knowing your child is missing. Alex went missing just before dinner. I remember frantically trying to find him in the house thinking he was hiding. When we could not find him, Vern set out on the street to start looking. I went to my next-door neighbour’s house in a panic and they immediately started searching. “Where do you think he would go?” said my one neighbour. “Should one of us go to the park?” I remember thinking to myself with great intensity “where would he go?” I remember asking, “Can someone walk towards the convenience store” and off another neighbour went. I remember someone yelling out “if anyone finds him just bring him back” and telling me to wait at the house.
What seemed like hours was really only minutes when I saw a woman a few houses down talking to one of my neighbours and pointing to the house. My neighbour waved for me to come and we walked into the house. I then realized, looking at the large moving van in the driveway, that this woman was in the process of moving in and no one had met her yet. Well no one except Alex.
Alex was standing in the front hallway with a young girl who I assumed was the daughter. She was grinning and told me “he is very funny”. I grabbed Alex and gave him the biggest hug and with tears running down my face saying, “why did you leave the house? Don’t ever do that again”. I then realized Alex had a large pillowcase in his hand that was full of heavy objects weighing him down preventing me from picking him up.
The woman explained that they were moving in and as they were unpacking they heard a noise in their kitchen. They walked in to find Alex filling a pillowcase with their newly bought food. She said at first she thought it was the boy who used to live in the house and he had come back to get something. She said when she asked him “hey who are you and what are you doing with that pillowcase?” he replied “ why my little sweet tot…there’s a light on your tree that won’t light on one side so I’m taking it to my workshop”. “Okay” she replied. “ I think maybe we need to find your parents”. “ I’ll fix it up there and bring it back here” Alex continued. That’s when she walked out to the street and my neighbour asked her if she had seen a young boy. “Ah yes, he is in our house with a pillowcase acting strange and calling me tots – oh yes I have seen him” she said.
It turns out Alex had taken the pillowcase from our house and filled it up with a few items from their hallway – newly unpacked books, keys and some yogurt tubes, cheese and a package of ham from the refrigerator.
As I put the items back into their fridge and I went into my “ I am so sorry, you see my son has autism and sometimes…. and I am so very sorry” the daughter said “it’s okay – he is really good at that Grinch voice – he should become an actor one day.” At this point the mom just smiled and with Alex in hand I just smiled back and said, “well …welcome to the neighbourhood”. Of course my other neighbour was laughing out loud at this point. Luckily no one got hurt, nothing was damaged, except some yogurt tubes that were a bit warm going back on the shelf.
When I reflect on this event I am forever thankful for such great neighbours old and new, and for their understanding of autism. And to quote Dr. Seuss “Sometimes you will never understand the value of a moment until it becomes a memory”.